"Letters from Women": Beata B., Budapeste
During the preparations for so-called "painless" birthing, women are told what they should do and what they should not do, how their husbands can provide support, and so forth.
What people forget to tell them - what nobody ever tells them - is that giving birth is an immense, intense experience, an entirely personal experience, in which the woman does not feel lonely or abandoned, but simply alone. Alone like never before. Absolutely alone, yet entirely suffused with an energy that she has never dreamed before. It is a moment of great intimacy for her.
Doctors and women alike try to make each other believe that the woman can be helped by others. That is wrong, entirely wrong. I would like to testify to this. Help, the only real kind of help, can only come from oneself, and from no one else. I can also attest to that.
As for fear: yes, I am still afraid when I am expecting a child, even very afraid. But I have learned to be courageous. One simple has to stare the fear in the face, then it disappears on the spot. It also helps me to know that I am free, entirely free. I expect no help from outside. By now, in fact, I know that such help simply doesn't exist. I can, and want to, rely only on myself.
Support from my husband? All I expect from him is that he should shield me, guaranteeing me complete calm. Because when this calm is lacking, how can I concentrate on myself and on what is going on inside me?
When labour contractions set in, a woman is extremely sensitive. The slightest discord - a slammed door, a shrill voice, a jangling object being dropped - is like being stabbed for her. I ask my husband to shield me from this things.
The most important thing in pregnancy is for the woman to remain continuously - and I really mean without any interruption - in connection with her child. How can she form this contact? It is simple: she just needs quite. The woman should sit alone in a space where no one will disturb her. If necessary she should shut the doors, and the listen to her child. She should not try to listen to the noises the child makes in her; as far as it is possible, she should stop thinking about anything. Things must be completely quiet in her.
And what a surprise! It is as if the woman is learning something from her baby. But it is not information, not at all. It is more as if the woman begins to feel that she knows everything worth knowing. And then how can there be fear? There will be no question of that any longer. She will enjoy this calm and this inner peace.
Fonte:
LEBOYER, F. The Art of gibing birth. Healing Arts Press: 2009, pp. 21-22
