The depression and dissatisfaction of so many married women comes about because they fail to recognize and accept marriage as a sadhana. The transformation of the outer personality and refinement of the inner nature is not an easy process, and we should not expect marrigae to be always easy.
The Mother of Sri Aurobindo Ashram has said: "To unite your physical existences and your material interests, to associate yourselves so as to face together the difficulties and successes, the defeats and victories of life - this is the very basis of marriage - but you know already that it does not suffice. To be one in aspiration and ascension, to advance with the same step on the spiritual path - such is the secret of a durable union".
In India a woman traditionally loves and reveres her husband as her guru, and he loves and reveres her as devi, as a goddess. This does not mean that one or the other is spiritually superior, but that the act of loving is the means to transformation, and that the purpose of marriage is to help one another to become greater that we could be alone.
We have firstly to recognize that difficult situations and the elements we dislike in other people can be our great teachers, for they point out our resistances, prejudices and emotional blockages. What we dislike in others is often some quality that exists unrecognized in ourselves, or which touches a sensitive area of weakness in us. It is our resistance and attachment that makes certain situations uncomfortable or frustrating, and when we confront such situations repeatedly, we should ask ourselves: "What can I learn from this?" If we are sincere and attentive to our inner voice, that situation will yield up its gift of insight and we will be free of one more limitation.
Muktananda, Swami. Nawa Yogini Tantra, "Yoga for women", India: Yoga Publications Trust, 2006, pp. 78-79.