 |
| Krishna e Yashoda |
Since
I began my love affair with yoga over a decade ago, I’ve been
fortunate to study with many wonderful teachers in different
countries, cities, and studios. Each person and experience has
played a role in shaping both the teacher, and the student that I am
now. But these days, my newest and most influential teacher
is motherhood.
Now more than ever, I am finding resonance in the yamas (yogic
ethics), in particular ahimsa (non-violence). Ahimsa is easy to
understand in concepts such asvegetarianism; choosing to eat a
plant-based diet is kind to animals and the planet’s resources.
But becoming a mother has opened my eyes to a more subtle meaning
of ahimsa; that of non-judgment.
As a
yoga teacher, I instruct my students to let go of judgment as they
move more deeply into their poses, and into their practice.
So often we focus on the outcome rather than the journey, on getting
the forehead to the floor or our heels to the mat in an attempt to
“conquer” the pose. Most of us have been guilty at one time
or another of comparing ourselves to the yogi on the mat next to us,
of trying to out-pigeon, or out-down-dog our neighbour.
Sometimes the hardest part of yoga is letting go of
this competitive nature, so that we may practice with
lovingkindness.
For
many of us (but especially moms), the tendency towards self-judgment
is strong, even off the mat. It might begin in pregnancy as we
eye other mothers on the street, sizing up their bellies, their baby
weight, how tired or equally how energetic they look. We make
judgments and comparisons based on our assumptions, instead of
allowing ourselves to be free of arbitrary expectations.
After
baby comes, the whispers of judgment can become even stronger.
We might feel pressure to attain and maintain a certain standard of
“perfection”, both in the home and at work; to raise a perfect
baby, to be a “yummy” mummy, to keep a spotless house, to manage
a successful career. We are judging ourselves harshly and
unnecessarily, when we regard anything less than this idea of
perfection as failure.
As a
new mom I was consumed with the needs of my tiny baby; suddenly my
time was no longer my own. My beauty routine was pared down to
a bare minimum--a shower and a swipe of lip-gloss if I... was lucky. The material things that I had come to know as
defining my femininity could no longer be a priority as I had another
life to care for. Still, I sometimes felt that my lack of high
heels and make-up was a reflection of my ability to be a good
mother--that somehow I wasn’t doing enough. I was frustrated
when I couldn’t meet my demanding, self-imposed expectations.
Six
months later, I am making a conscious effort to replace frustration
with kindness. My practice continues to evolve as I
takeahimsa to heart. Motherhood is teaching me to live my yoga.
I do my best not to be judgmental when I have an “off” day.
I know there will be times when the house will be messy, or mornings
when I am running late. As much as possible I try to be
compassionate towards myself, and accept situations that are out of
my control. Embracing ahimsameans doing myself the
kindness of letting go of expectations, and being present in whatever
moment arises. Sometimes those moments are full of dirty
diapers, and never ending piles of laundry, and the only practical
thing to do is breathe and smile. A deep breath and a gentle
smile go a long way when we practice yoga--and as I am
learning--amidst the daily chaos that is life with a new baby.
On the
days when I’m outfitted in my baggiest old sweats, when I’m tired
and it shows, I do my best not to criticize. Instead, I remind
myself that regardless of my superficial shortcomings, I am still a
good sweet person, a kind loving mother, and that truly, it is what
is on the inside that counts. Lipstick or not, what is more
definitively feminine than motherhood? My baby does not know
the difference between bargains and brand names, he doesn’t care if
my headstand is perfect. All he knows is my love, which I
give him with abundance.
Fonte:
